So many morons, so little time

Sometimes I have to take a break from complaining. A break from putting all of my negative thoughts out there in cyberland. I want to try and become more positive, but appears that little baby Jesus has a different plan for me. He keeps putting idiots and morons in my path. Is it a test? Well if it is, Im here to solve it!

Where to begin? Ok, today I will choose little asswipes who work behind the counter at an eatery, embittered by a low salary and poor working conditions, forced to serve the proletariat a meal in scone form. Yes, Im talking about that lil shit at Sconewitch who totally disrespects me each time Im there. Im sure it’s not personal, but really? You order your food at the back, you go back to the front to pay at the cash. In the summer it’s boiling hot because the owner is too God damn cheap to pay for air conditioning–and apparently electronic payments as I aptly learned today (they always have in the past btw).

Now I don’t know if that turd is the owner, but he is quite the penis. It’s not only that he makes you wait until he’s good and ready to take your order to acknowledge your presence at the back counter, but that he does the same at the cash–without an apology for making you wait for him to get his lazy prissy ass to the cash. On top of this today he announces, as I tend my debit card, that they are no longer accepting any form of electronic payment, defines this as debit and credit (no shit, like I need to take vocab lessons from a cashier) and proceeds to insinuate that it is my fault for not having seen the sign on the front door, which I later found out presented itself in the form of a tiny/miniscule doily with the words “CASH ONLY” inscribed on its surface (this among a number of ridiculous stickers on the olden, paint-chipped door). What were the words “Just so you know we’re no longer accepting any form of e payment..blah is written on a sign on the door on the way in.” or something like this. Really? That 3 inch doily is supposed to be noticed you cheap mother fucker?! On top of practically blaming me in a pathetic attempt to absolve himself of any blame for the incident (try telling people before they order asshole, or put a sign at the back or at the cash), he tells me “I don’t know what to tell you” after I tell him that I have no cash in a slightly flustered manner. OMG REALLY?? Well, I know what to tell you: Have fun losing your business jerkoff, cause no one carries cash!! I just extended my hand for my card without a word and arrogantly looked at him with my hands extended in front of me and slightly to the side, open as if to say “well, I dont know what to tell you, Im walking out of here without paying for the order coming up back there”. I had a look on my face that was like “oh well, too bad” and backed away in this posture and turned around and walked out as he informed me of the bank next door. Sorry, you are too cheap to pay 25 cents for my transaction, well Im too cheap to pay 3 bux for mine . Im never going back there. They can suck it. Slow wait times anyways.

The end.

PS I had nachos for lunch


Just because you can fit in it, doesn’t mean you should wear it

Ever seen this: Older women in their late 40s and 50s dressing in tight skinny jeans, tube tops, 5 inch heals and wearing way too much makeup? No? Hit Gatineau, QC and you will find them in abundance. I swear, their haven is the mall, specifically the cheap, taudry teen stores. Where else? Besides the bar, trying to pick up your young ass.  Seriously, there should be an age limit in those stores. No one over the age of 24. An alarm should sound if your old ass tries to get in.

Anyway, I saw so many at Promenades de l’Outaouais that I almost fell over as I looked over a sea of bleached blonde hair and hot pink lipstick! The worst is when you think it’s a young person and they turn around. Egadz! In my building there is one lady who shows up to work wearing tight clothing, including this micro mini and this leopard print dress. AT WORK. She’s 5o! Sure she weighs 80 lbs, but frig, this begs the title of this blog! You might be a size 10 in children sizes, but that doesnt give you a license to go out and buy it, let alone expose the rest of the world to it. Did I mention the 6 inch healed thigh high boots? Oh lawwd.

Seriously, I dont understand why people can not accept their age and who they are. Yer old. DEAL WITH IT. Wearing something your granddaughter is wearing will not make you 16 again. Give it up lady. Especially you at the shoe store who gave me the ruddest laugh cause I wouldnt let her cougar ass go by. I was there first, it’s like go around.

Any comments? Anyone? Bueller?

Let me teach you a lesson old lady

Over the past months, some pretty appauling things have happened to me, like that manager who thought he could belittle me (big mistake. BIG), that lady who sat on my purse, and some annoying shit like that friggin woman who chews gum, like, constantly. We can all hear you!

No, this one takes the cake. You wont believe where it happened. You guessed it, public transportation – the bus. I swear, 3/4 of my material comes from there alone. Anyway. Im sitting next to this middle aged lady, prob 45-50, and she seems alright. Quiet. Until she decides that she wants to get off the bus…or she doesnt…moves, but then sits still…purse strap on shoulder…no movement. Who can really tell what’s in another person’s head. So I keep a bit of an eye out as I text. But alas, my stupid phone goes into auto correct mode and I SIMPLY have to correct it. No one gets out until I get it done. So the bus arrives at a completish stop and she turns her body toward me. Peripheral vision. Gotta love it. But Im knee deep in text and she doesn’t ask to get out…She just kinda leans toward me half standing…Well 1/4 standing/half shoving then says (I kid you not) “Are you getting off or what?” WTF?!?!? First off, how rude and secondly? Im on the edge of this two seater lady and it AINT the last stop. At this moment, I felt it was my duty to society to teach this woman a lesson in politeness and social etiquette. Im guesing she failed kindergarten. Flunked sandbox? Didn’t want to play nice? So I respond “No, Im not. But if you want to get out you say ‘excuse me’ and then I get up and let you leave.” Then she glares at me as she comes out. A gnarly face whose owner has clearly smoked one too many cigarettes, and, with lack of a better thing to say responds with “Have a nice day” I say “thank you” and sit my ass back down. As the bus pulls out of the station, the woman is just standing there, glaring at me! She isnt even moving up the stairs…Too funny. I almost waved but resisted the temptation.As if she had the nerve to be mad at moi?!?!

With this story I conclude that life is a self-fulfilling prophecy, a vicious circle if you will. Old people think the young have no respect for the old, yet they treat the young with so little respect simply because they feel they do not deserve it. In turn we respond in the same manner. You are your destiny. Remember that. Every action has a reaction. If you don’t like the end result, then maybe you should treat others as you’d like to be treated. BITCH.

Don’t be sittin’ on muh purse biatch!

So Im sitting on the bus and as it empties out, I notice a woman stopping by my seat, hesitating…Should she sit next to me or can she find a seat in the back? My purse is on the seat and I see her from the corner of my eye. Bitch sits on the bench and a bit on my purse. I didnt move it and when I walked out..I shoved the bitch lol

Vans vs cars

Have you ever encountered a fellow driver on the road in a larger vehicle thinking that they can cut you off simply because they drive a truck or a van? Yeah, you know the ones “I have  a big truck so you’re gonna move tiny car”. Oh, not in this lifetime buddy!

Today I took fate into my own hands and decided to teach an SUV driver a lesson. Check it: Im in my car at the Shoppers on Tenth and ready to stroll out of the safety of my tiny parking space, when I see a car drive out. I let him go by because I didnt want to cut him off, despite the fact that I was pulling out first. So Im already a lil annoyed, but meh I decide to be the good Samaritan and let the fucker drive out in front of me. So finally, I pull out and start driving, only to see this big van or SUV try to pull a fast one and get out of his spot ahead of me. Oh fuck no, I wasnt gonna have it, so I continue to drive along, slightly increasing my speed in an attempt to prevent him from doing the inevitable. The fucker CUNTinues to move forward increasing his speed to continue the cut off. Let’s just say that I went as far as I could without causing a collision, put on the brakes, and as I inched just a bit further ahead of him I honked. REALLY LOUDLY. He stops and looks at me like Im the crazy one? I had the right of way buddy. Dont pretend you didnt see me because you weren’t skilled enough to cut off a young girl in a silver 2001 Grand Am. So I move ahead…. Only to notice that he wasnt trying to go left (in his failed attempt at a cutoff, he ends up on the wrong side of the road, so I figured he was gonna continue and we’d be side by side. Which annoyed me) he was going to turn right as I was. So he truly failed and demonstrated that he was trying to cut me off but couldnt get ahead of me so ended up to the left. He ended up following me…eeep. Oh well. Come and get me is what I yelled to myself as I strode away satisfied in my victory.

You may be bigger and think you are better, but you ain’t never come up against a Grand Am!

Moral of the story: Dont fuck with me on the road. You ain’t gonna win.

The end 😉

Cyclists vs. Pedestrians

I don’t know about you, but I most certainly am NOT a cyclist and if I do venture out on my bicycle (which is, like, never) I do it on a bike path or on a quiet residential street. I don’t venture out on the highway or on city streets and I certainly follow the rules of the road.

I’ve noticed, especially with the appearance of various bicycle lanes, a number of cyclists disobeying the rules of the road or causing accidents by hitting pedestrians (who should, mind you, keep an eye out as well) simply because they think they have the right of way. Let me tell you something: When you drive a car, you might have the right of way on a green light or on a street, but if someone jay walks in front of you, YOU ARE the person responsible for the accident and you will be charged. Why should this be any different for cyclists? They arent even vehicles lol. While some cyclists wish to be considered as such, they surely neglect to follow traffic laws (i.e. using the pedestrian crosswalk to get around waiting at a red light, etc.). Gee I wish I could walk out of my car, put it in neutral and walk it across the pedestrian crossing. Seriously. Make up your mind. You are either a vehicle of the road OR you are a pedestrian. You can’t have it both ways.

I notice the frustration from cyclists when pedestrians watch carefully for cars, but non-challantly make their way through a bike path or road without a care for whomever may be coming their way. I get that. But seriously, you aren’t a 1 ton machine. You are riding a 30 lbs bike and can stop a lot more easily. So get over yourselves. Keep your eyes open. You are a nuissance.

Why am I suddenly going off on cyclists? I had a run in today. I was crossing the street, where bike lanes exist, and carefully looked to see if any were coming. None were so my friend and I crossed. Unfortunately, we didnt see a bike coming on the other side of the street as we approached the end of our journey across the road. Who yelled at us? The cyclist? No. None other than 2 older ladies in their late 40s or early 50s telling us to watch out in a very aggressive manner. Then, as we avoided collision, the cyclist gave us a dirty look but it was the head nodding from side to side from one of the old bats that really pissed me off. “Watch where you’re going”. WHO THE FUCK ASKED YOU? I told my friend I hated cyclists and one of the women went off on us. She must have been a fellow rider because she schooled us on the right of way. Well sweety, I said, if she hits me..shes in trouble, to which she replied that this was not so as I would have caused the accident. I said, try hitting someone with your car and tell me who the police will think is responsible. That shut her up. Let me tell you, we were pissed! Im sure that had we been in Depends as well, we wouldnt have gotten that foul treatment.

Some people!

Do blondes do it better?

Earlier today I had a debate with a male friend about blondes and why men like them. I asked the question. I suddenly found myself thinking about it last week when I found out that a guy I liked had a girlfriend. She was blonde. Why is it that as soon as I see a guy dating a blonde, I automatically assume that he has a type. Like he only likes blonde chicks. Then I find myself judging him for it, like he’s somehow less of a human being because he likes blondes. Like he couldnt possibly be anyone I could see myself with because he likes blondes. I get sort of upset when I see a brown haired man dating a blonde, especially if he’s not of European descent. No not really, just any guy. But I guess if I see a guy who is so far from a blonde himself, who likes someone who is like none of the women in his culture –whom you would think he’d be attracted to but is clearly rejecting–could possibly date someone with blonde hair. It makes me think that he’s really going out of his way to date someone simply because she has yellow strands of matter stemming from her head.

The worst of it is, is that she’s cute, his girlfriend I mean, but more the girl next door type. Plain Jane. Not even a hot bombshell blonde. Yet he flirts with me, so I guess he’s not completely resigned to dating blondes.

He’s the one I had the argument with. He said he’s dated brunettes before, but had to go back. How fucking rude a thing is it to tell something like that to a brunette. He even mentionned that most guys prefer blondes. How mean is that. Well clearly you dont, cause you keep flirting with me, coming over to my desk, and going out of your way to pass by it. You look for me when you walk by from what I hear. When Im not there. That convo just pissed me off, but then again I dissed blondes and his gf is blonde. I dont get it. They have no pigmentation. Ugh.

So is it really true? Do men prefer blondes? Ive never been pushed over for one, nor have I had trouble meeting a man because of it. Although I do notice the attention they get. It stands out more I guess.

Anyways, that’s my little bit of information that Im just throwing out there in the universe.

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