The bus is empty, so why are you still sitting next to me?

Have you ever been on a bus that was full and then had someone sit right next to you? I’m sure you have and that’s perfectly fine but at some point that bus has to empty; and, when it does one expects a normal North American to move away.

Well not me. No, I get the idiot who insists on sitting right next to me really smugly sitting beside me and not moving despite the fact that the bus is empty and there are plenty of empty of seats now readily available. Why is that? Are they afraid to offend you? Are they being assholes?

My hypothesis points to the latter because as soon as you decide to leave the bus for some reason, I don’t know perhaps it is your stop, they readily go up and move to an available empty seat. This is when you internally combust, totally lose it. Anger rises and you just wanna knock em down.

Has this ever happened to you?

It’s like get away. Can you move please? Or how about when you’re in a 3 seater and you’re on the edge. The other two seats are empty. Some moron comes on the bus and rather than sitting on the third bench on the other extremity they choose to sit right next to you and plop their handbag on the other bench. At this point you’re thinking “what the hell?” You get up and leave to move to another seat or perhaps it is your stop. Either way, as soon as you move from that seat they finally decide to move over to the end seat. At this point your anger rises and surmounts to a point where you’re not sure if you can even handle it.
What is wrong with people? Sometimes I just hate everyone.

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Must you sit next to me??

If any of you are habitual riders of the Red and White limo, we like to call the bus here in Ottawa, then you’ve probably experienced this. That unpleasant feeling when someone sits right next to you. It’s the most irritating feeling, particularly when they sit on your bag, or on you for that matter. It’s like, I put my bag there for a reason. So you wouldn’t sit next to me. I gave you a number of non-verbal cues: I gave a sigh. I gave you a dirty look. I told you, must you fucking sit right next to me??? Shouldnt that give you a hint to sit elsewhere? This is particularly true when the bus is empty and the person simply HAS to sit right there! Right next to you! It’s even worse when they smell or hum to themselves. Anyone ever experience this? I think I might take my car to work. Then we’d run into another problem wouldnt we? The tailgater. The slow moron in front of you. The asshole who cuts you off.

Sometimes I wish I could remove myself from society all together. The truth is that I can’t stand people. I really can’t. Never been able to deal with them or maintain steady relationships with them. That is, until I turned 25. I made lifelong friends in Kitchener and in grad school in Ottawa. Ive met a few along the way. But those who are not friends. Those I would rather never associate with, but with which I have no choice, those are the hard ones. I seriously need to work from home and work for myself. No morning busrides, no annoying commute, no parking tickets, no co-workers. Just me. Me and my cocoon.\

 

Whatever happened to “haha im older than you are”?

For the past several years, since the age of 25, I have encountered strange comments and other behaviours. It seems as though everyone becomes uber sensitive about being “older” when they hit 25. I’ll simply focus on two small incidents in this blog post. I won’t get into the ridiculous comments from older women remembering their own insecurities at that age and capitalizing on this to make themselves feel better about being in their 40s or 50s. No, I’ll focus on those made by those my age.

One, co-worker: OMG yer older? <We’re a year apart.>

Two, co worker to another co-worker on their mutual birthdays: Really? Two years [older]?  <Are you kidding me>

Three, friend I just met: How old are you. Me [two years older than her]. Her: Haha yer older. <Really?>

And I could go on. The only thing I can say in response is this: If you were young and felt young and had no issue with being above 25 or 30, then you wouldn’t be making such a dumb comment and/or you would be teasing someone about being YOUNGER than you are. Remember when we were kids? Someone a month younger would get teased for being a kid.

Whatever happened to “haha im older than you?” Funny how that changes. 😉

Backdoor Bill

Ever been back doored? Like royally screwed? Yeah, that was me this weekend, but more specifically, out of the various incidents that occured, this one took the cake. Ever make plans with someone, like definite plans and have them drop off the face of the earth the day of the event? We’ve all had those. Hell, Ive even kinda done it. You know when you commit but you dont really wanna go? But in this case, this person knew how much going meant to me and about how previous plans had fallen through, yet decided to screw me over anyway. Gotta love that.

Worst part of it is, that he didnt even know what the event was – as in, he had never heard of it. Bastard asks me to send all the info about the event, directions and all. I do so and include pricing etc. He writes to me saying it’s a go and to text him to finish up the details. Except, he knew full well that I did not have his new cell number. (Uh oh!) I knew that writing back was moot, but I still did confirming details for meeting times. I emailed him and texted his old cell, knowing that he would probably give me some lame excuse about not having checked facebook etc. Weird thing is, that I had a dream about it the night before. About him not calling me.

The next day, 11 am hits and I know full well that I wont hear from him. I know full well that he has my number, but won’t text and then will say “Oh I never heard from you” and go to the event without me with the GF who was supposed to come with. Indeed, as predicted, his email came in at 500pm, about 30 mins before the end of the event. And, like clockwork, it came “Oh no! I just read this..I should have texted YOU, what was I thinking….. The event was great, I went with my GF… .” and went on to describe it. WOW. I coulda punched him! You can imagine my response. It was classic. I told him to go screw himself and that I had more fun doing something else than hang out with him and his trailor trash girlfriend he met online (lol).

Oh it doesnt end here. He TEXTS me 10 mins after I wrote the email on FB and blocked his ass! What? You have my number all of a sudden? You have texted me? You read the FB message very quickly?? All of a sudden you have access to FB? I smell a rat, a dirty rat. ASSHOLE!!!!! It was my bloody idea and he stole it, went without me – stood me up, and had the nerve to write to me about it?? I predicted he would do it, so don’t call me crazy for accusing him of wrongdoing. He called me nuts. Ummm who wouldnt be pissed? The poor excuse for a human being had put the moves on me a while back…He was probably still reeling from the very obvious rejection. Hell, I wouldnt touch him with a 50 foot pole! The only way he gets any is because he hits up desperate eleventeen year olds so hopped up on drugs they dont realize how ugly he is and settle. No one decent will ever want his pathetic ass. EVER. I didn’t 😉 Oh, did I mention that in the event that I had found his number, he had a ready made excuse (his phone died and he had no battery). This is the lil shit who kept texting and FBing me to go out with him 2 mos ago. LOL

So, suck my dick bitch. I saved the 60 bux + that you couldn’t afford to put down. Enjoy life at your mom’s loser.

So many morons, so little time

Sometimes I have to take a break from complaining. A break from putting all of my negative thoughts out there in cyberland. I want to try and become more positive, but appears that little baby Jesus has a different plan for me. He keeps putting idiots and morons in my path. Is it a test? Well if it is, Im here to solve it!

Where to begin? Ok, today I will choose little asswipes who work behind the counter at an eatery, embittered by a low salary and poor working conditions, forced to serve the proletariat a meal in scone form. Yes, Im talking about that lil shit at Sconewitch who totally disrespects me each time Im there. Im sure it’s not personal, but really? You order your food at the back, you go back to the front to pay at the cash. In the summer it’s boiling hot because the owner is too God damn cheap to pay for air conditioning–and apparently electronic payments as I aptly learned today (they always have in the past btw).

Now I don’t know if that turd is the owner, but he is quite the penis. It’s not only that he makes you wait until he’s good and ready to take your order to acknowledge your presence at the back counter, but that he does the same at the cash–without an apology for making you wait for him to get his lazy prissy ass to the cash. On top of this today he announces, as I tend my debit card, that they are no longer accepting any form of electronic payment, defines this as debit and credit (no shit, like I need to take vocab lessons from a cashier) and proceeds to insinuate that it is my fault for not having seen the sign on the front door, which I later found out presented itself in the form of a tiny/miniscule doily with the words “CASH ONLY” inscribed on its surface (this among a number of ridiculous stickers on the olden, paint-chipped door). What were the words “Just so you know we’re no longer accepting any form of e payment..blah blah..as is written on a sign on the door on the way in.” or something like this. Really? That 3 inch doily is supposed to be noticed you cheap mother fucker?! On top of practically blaming me in a pathetic attempt to absolve himself of any blame for the incident (try telling people before they order asshole, or put a sign at the back or at the cash), he tells me “I don’t know what to tell you” after I tell him that I have no cash in a slightly flustered manner. OMG REALLY?? Well, I know what to tell you: Have fun losing your business jerkoff, cause no one carries cash!! I just extended my hand for my card without a word and arrogantly looked at him with my hands extended in front of me and slightly to the side, open as if to say “well, I dont know what to tell you, Im walking out of here without paying for the order coming up back there”. I had a look on my face that was like “oh well, too bad” and backed away in this posture and turned around and walked out as he informed me of the bank next door. Sorry, you are too cheap to pay 25 cents for my transaction, well Im too cheap to pay 3 bux for mine . Im never going back there. They can suck it. Slow wait times anyways.

The end.

PS I had nachos for lunch

Let me teach you a lesson old lady

Over the past months, some pretty appauling things have happened to me, like that manager who thought he could belittle me (big mistake. BIG), that lady who sat on my purse, and some annoying shit like that friggin woman who chews gum, like, constantly. We can all hear you!

No, this one takes the cake. You wont believe where it happened. You guessed it, public transportation – the bus. I swear, 3/4 of my material comes from there alone. Anyway. Im sitting next to this middle aged lady, prob 45-50, and she seems alright. Quiet. Until she decides that she wants to get off the bus…or she doesnt…moves, but then sits still…purse strap on shoulder…no movement. Who can really tell what’s in another person’s head. So I keep a bit of an eye out as I text. But alas, my stupid phone goes into auto correct mode and I SIMPLY have to correct it. No one gets out until I get it done. So the bus arrives at a completish stop and she turns her body toward me. Peripheral vision. Gotta love it. But Im knee deep in text and she doesn’t ask to get out…She just kinda leans toward me half standing…Well 1/4 standing/half shoving then says (I kid you not) “Are you getting off or what?” WTF?!?!? First off, how rude and secondly? Im on the edge of this two seater lady and it AINT the last stop. At this moment, I felt it was my duty to society to teach this woman a lesson in politeness and social etiquette. Im guesing she failed kindergarten. Flunked sandbox? Didn’t want to play nice? So I respond “No, Im not. But if you want to get out you say ‘excuse me’ and then I get up and let you leave.” Then she glares at me as she comes out. A gnarly face whose owner has clearly smoked one too many cigarettes, and, with lack of a better thing to say responds with “Have a nice day” I say “thank you” and sit my ass back down. As the bus pulls out of the station, the woman is just standing there, glaring at me! She isnt even moving up the stairs…Too funny. I almost waved but resisted the temptation.As if she had the nerve to be mad at moi?!?!

With this story I conclude that life is a self-fulfilling prophecy, a vicious circle if you will. Old people think the young have no respect for the old, yet they treat the young with so little respect simply because they feel they do not deserve it. In turn we respond in the same manner. You are your destiny. Remember that. Every action has a reaction. If you don’t like the end result, then maybe you should treat others as you’d like to be treated. BITCH.

Vans vs cars

Have you ever encountered a fellow driver on the road in a larger vehicle thinking that they can cut you off simply because they drive a truck or a van? Yeah, you know the ones “I have  a big truck so you’re gonna move tiny car”. Oh, not in this lifetime buddy!

Today I took fate into my own hands and decided to teach an SUV driver a lesson. Check it: Im in my car at the Shoppers on Tenth and ready to stroll out of the safety of my tiny parking space, when I see a car drive out. I let him go by because I didnt want to cut him off, despite the fact that I was pulling out first. So Im already a lil annoyed, but meh I decide to be the good Samaritan and let the fucker drive out in front of me. So finally, I pull out and start driving, only to see this big van or SUV try to pull a fast one and get out of his spot ahead of me. Oh fuck no, I wasnt gonna have it, so I continue to drive along, slightly increasing my speed in an attempt to prevent him from doing the inevitable. The fucker CUNTinues to move forward increasing his speed to continue the cut off. Let’s just say that I went as far as I could without causing a collision, put on the brakes, and as I inched just a bit further ahead of him I honked. REALLY LOUDLY. He stops and looks at me like Im the crazy one? I had the right of way buddy. Dont pretend you didnt see me because you weren’t skilled enough to cut off a young girl in a silver 2001 Grand Am. So I move ahead…. Only to notice that he wasnt trying to go left (in his failed attempt at a cutoff, he ends up on the wrong side of the road, so I figured he was gonna continue and we’d be side by side. Which annoyed me) he was going to turn right as I was. So he truly failed and demonstrated that he was trying to cut me off but couldnt get ahead of me so ended up to the left. He ended up following me…eeep. Oh well. Come and get me is what I yelled to myself as I strode away satisfied in my victory.

You may be bigger and think you are better, but you ain’t never come up against a Grand Am!

Moral of the story: Dont fuck with me on the road. You ain’t gonna win.

The end 😉

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